Ups and Downs

The past few days have been somewhat of an experiment in what exactly constitutes full liquids. The other day I tried an egg custard, and I think...not liquid enough probably. I also found that drinking the ready made Instant Breakfast drinks are with a higher milk fat percentage...because they instantly made me feel ill. Luckily I haven't thrown up since I've come home. However, I've learned there's an important price to be paid if you eat wrong. If you eat something that makes you nauseous...you can't even drink water for a little while after...which makes it very hard to get in the required drinking to keep hydrated. One thing that has saved me I think the past few days are those protein bullet things. At least I know if I can get one of those down first thing in the morning...I've got 42 grams of protein in me. That's a great start.

I've also been feeling a little guilty about not moving enough. It's hard because it seems if I go out in the living room I'm being exposed to food. This is torture right now. Last night they got Chinese...I mean I went in the kitchen and felt like I was in a mine field in Nam. Luckily, I have discovered my post op favorite food from the Chinese foray. Egg Drop Soup. 8 oz of Egg Drop Soup contains 13 grams of protein. There is something about the consistency and taste that totally agree with my stomach...praise God. I had some yesterday and today, and I actually feel like I've eaten.

Now onto somewhat disgusting parts of this recovery process. You have to leave your steri strips on until they fall of...and you can only lightly wash your stomach with liquid dial soap. Luckily none of my wounds seems to be infected so far and my drain hole is closing up nicely. There are some righteously ugly bruises all colors of the rainbow around them though. Also...let's talk about bowel movements...let's just say they are explosive and strange....a combination of gas and flakes of who knows what...but thank goodness not with the usual accomanying cramps of diarrhea. So I can't say it's diarrhea...just weird. I will say when I ate that Egg Drop Soup...I did gain something more substantial. I now know why they want you to stay home the first 3-4 weeks...I cannot imagine having to have one of these mid-meeting....fun.

But all in all...I'm having an amazing recovery. I don't feel any different really. I just get full fast...and a little twinge if I take too big a drinks. I'm looking forward to my surgeon appointment tomorrow...yippeee...if he clears me...I move on to soft foods...we're talking CHILI...haha. But I now know...be prepared for a step forward and a step back if something doesn't agree with you. You can always fall back on a crystal light/broth day if things get too hairy.

And as far as movement...I started walking today. I walked 15 minutes on the treadmill at like 1.7 miles an hour...and this made me sweat and a little dizzy. You just have to be careful when you're only going on like 300 calories, and your body is still trying to heal. I'll try again tomorrow, just so I can say I'm trying;-)

Valentine's Day Torture

Okay... Day four on the recovery train, and I have to say that I have been tortured. My husband decided last night that he needed to make cupcakes for my son's class. On top of that, he made chicken marsala which is my favorite. My husband and I are not on the greatest of terms...so I'm wondering how much of this is subliminally torture. So I hid in my room drinking yummy crystal light and broth...woohoo! On top of it all, Cole is running in with candy bags for his class. You'd think after having your guts rearranged, you wouldn't have a desire for this stuff...WRONG!. The infamous HEAD HUNGER you've read about is insidious. It's the feeling of course like you want something, but in your stomach you know you couldn't eat it if you wanted to. I mean your stomach is bursting at this point from a few sips of water, but your mind is craving all those delicious foods that used to make you feel good, feel full, feel better. My biggest struggle with food is emotional eating. In the coming months, along with chronicaling my journey with gastric bypass surgery, I'm also going to journal about my internal struggle with overcoming emotional hunger. I recently got a good book called, Eating in the Light of the Moon, by Anita Johnston, PH.D. The book uses myth and metaphor, along with solid therapeutical approaches to teach people how to identify their problems with food an emotional eating. Here's a link to the book:Eating by the Light of the Moon

This week the focus of course is getting in fluids so I don't dehydrate. I managed 44 oz Wednesday, and 55 oz yesterday. Today (Friday), I'm trying to focus on both hydration and protein. I started out with a protein bullet, which are these big test tubes with this juice that tastes like jello water. They are thick and sweet, so I recommend cutting them with an ice cube to keep them cold and a little watered down while you drink them. They are worth the trouble... 42 g of protein in one shot. The rest of the day I'm alternating between drinking/eating something with protein and then drinking a glass of water. Another good trick is taking a sugar free pudding and mixing with half a scoop of Any Whey flavorless protein powder. It tastes ok, and boosts the protein content of the pudding to like 16 g. Very cool.

I haven't had to take my pain medicine much. My mom who is a nurse recommends I take a half dose morning and evening to deal with the overall discomfort. I wouldn't so much describe it as pain, so much as an uncomfortable pulling sensation. Also I've noticed when I'm stressed out, my stomach hurts instantly....so if you can protect yourself from stress in these early days of recovery for sure.

I have the book from http://www.bariatriceating.com called Before and After. The book is pretty good at answering questions you have about gastric bypass and also has a ton of recipes. My goal next week on my second week in recovery is to make a couple recipes from this book. Next week if all goes well in my post op visit I'll be able to start on soft foods. My goal is to be varied and not get stuck in a rut. I'm going to learn to eat fish more, and not be lazy about cooking.

Well, back to sipping my water....

2/11-2/13 Days in Hospital

2/11

Today is the day. I'm so nervous. I ask my mom if I can wear makeup and she says no, because they need to be able to observe your true colors, etc. You also have to remove all jewelry, pins from your hair, ...I feel naked without my rings. When we arrive at check in, I'm lead to a ward like place with rooms curtained off. My mom is allowed to be there, and my husband Dion. I'm told I have to strip off everything and then I have to use an iodine scrub (that orange stuff you see them use on people before they operate). It's very messy and stains everything yellow. So I have to scrub and scrub for 20 minutes and let it air dry. Finally they come get me. Two nurses come to ask me more or less the same questions...allergies to medicines, are you wearing metal, do you have crowns, etc. One nurse says my surgery has been moved up to 9:30am instead of 10am. Shewwww.... I 'll get it over with sooner than I thought.

Finally they say I'm ready and I have to say good bye to Dion and Mom. They push my bed into the surgical waiting areaand it's freezing in there...like meat locker cold. Here I lay from 9:45 to almost noon...so I guess they weren't as ahead as they thought. I have visits from the anesthesiologist and my surgeon Dr. Wohlgemuth. Dr. W. squeezes my shoulder, giving me a squeeze that instantly translates his confidence into me...a much needed feeling. I wait some more, and then finally the anesthesia team comes. The only thin I remember was she gave me a shot in my IV. Then they wheel me into the operating room. I scoot across from my bed to the narrow operating table. I look around briefly and then I'm out.

The next thing I know, I'm waking up in my room, and I don't even remember being in recovery. The surgery took from 12-2:30, and the time is now 3:30. I don't remember waking in recovery at all. Mom and Dion are waiting in my room for me, so it's a very reassuring site to see. There are a bunch of flowers alreay from friends and family waiting there...so nice. I'm still very out of it. I doze in and out of sleep and push the pain pump button periodically mostly as a defensive reflex.

Me right after recovery...very out of it.

The pain is not so much accute, but a dull ache...like you've been beat up from the inside out. The drugs numb this feeling mostly. I've look down at my stomach and can see five holes, four covered with steri strips, and one with a tube and drain bulb. This part makes me feel like a sci-fi creature from the borg or Dune. The freaky part to think about is on discharge day...they will pull that thing out of me...gross. The biggest pain is the gas. They pump gas inside your abdominal cavity so they can see better, but it stays inside you...so it creates these bad cramps in your stomach and lower abdomen. The only way to get rid of it is burping or farting. And the only way to get them to come out the bottom is to walk. I'm not ready to walk yet, so I'm hiccuping and burping, which is pretty painful. The give you tons of liquids via IV, so I feel like I have to pee all the time...and the bad part of this is....they put in a catheter the first 24 hours. My catheter is very uncomfortable and I beg the nurses to take it out, and beg my mom to talk to the surgeon. The feeling is so bad...like you have to pee real bad and can't. I was tempted to pull it out myself. The nurse adjusted it a little bit...and it was a little more tolerable...but still not the best. They finally got me to get up late in the evening...and having the catheter in while trying to walk was terrible...I finally went to bed around 9pm and slept fitfully through the nigh

2/12 Second Day post op

I slept fitfully because they come in every two hours to check your vitals, and to test your blood sugar. They also give you a shot in the stomach for blood thinner so you don't get clots. On top of that you have these squeezer leggings on your legs to keep your circulation going. You get used to it all, but it's a pain in the ass. Finally at 6am they came into remove the catheter....and I can't tell you what a relief that was. It was a very uncomfortable moment to feel it being removed...ughh. The gas pains are much worse. I beg the nurse for some gas x or something to get rid of it. The doctor won't allow it. I'm also extremely nauseous and having dry heaves, so they consent to put zofran into my IV, which finally works to calm me down a little and sooth the nausea. I decide I have to walk off the gas, and end up doing about 6 laps total around my floor of the hospital. Still no gas passed...dammit!

Also, my face is flushed and we can't figure out why. It looks like I've had an allergic reaction to something, but we can't narrow it down. I soon become the bariatric ward's poster child for peeing. Because I'm so desperate to pass gas somehow, I go to the bathroom like every 20 minutes...and with all the IV fluids and water I'm drinking...it's nonstop. The broth and jello they send up from the kitchen is so disgusting that I don't eat it...so no food for 2 days straight. I finally round out my second night in the hospital with the lovely success of passing wind. I mean you wouldn't think of it as such a huge accomplishment, but I can slowly feel my abdominal cavity getting a little less puffy. Tomorrow I get to go home...THANK GOD!

Cole playing on my bed.

2/13 Discharge Day

Today I get to go home, if all is well. They take off my IV, so now i have to drink, drink, drink. Because I DO NOT want to come back here, I drink everything in sight. The only strange symptom I've had is high blood pressure, but the nurse suspects it's from all the increased fluids. They continue to take my vitals. Finally my surgeon comes in to visit me...he's so sweet...he gives me his usual affectionate squeeze on the shoulder, and says "are you ready to go home? They tell me you're peeing up a storm"...haha I'm totally embarassed, but oh well...he couldn't be prouder of me as he's beaming down at me. So I beam back. Next his PA comes in to remove my drain. Now I don't want to scare anyone, but I think this is the worst part of the surgery. The drain is in your upper right side, but...the actual end of it is somewhere deep over on your left side. They release the suction in the bulb, but when they pull it out, it's the weirdest sensation you will ever feel. Like bugs are crawlying on you inside out and it hurts a little. It goes fast though, and you have this little hole in you they cover up. Next a nurse comes in to remove my IV plug and to have me sign discharge papers. I have a little discharge class with Jeannie our surgeon's bypass nurse. She gives us all the instructions we need about what to eat, symptoms to watch for, and we get a special card to show at restaurants so we can order off kids menus and stuff...cool.

The nurse pushes me out to the car in a wheel chair, and it's not too bad. I'm basically just feeling the effects of gravity pulling on my loose insides. When I get home...I get into my bed and just doze and sip broth and crystal light all day. I wake up in the evening to absolute torture. My husband, who is a chef feels the need to cook for my mother, so he's making Chicken Marsala. On top of that, tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and they are baking cupcake's for Cole's class and building out goodie bags with Valentine Cards. I hide in my room for safety...I'd like to go out there, but it's dangerous territory. I'm very full already, and I've only had 40 oz of my 64 oz liquid requirement. I'm glad because tomorrow I finally get to shower and start back on full liquids. All in all, I have to say I don't feel too different. I just feel full faster...and I do pee more often...I guess with everything going through my pouch so fast. I'm putting some pics here...be wary if you're squeamish...

See that tube coming out? Well it snakes all the way over to those holes on the right...fun.