Back to Work...oh my

When I first thought about how long I'd have to be off work, I figured...I'll be back to work in two weeks easy. After all, I'm a web product developer...all I do is sit in a chair, write on a computer, and meet with people all day. How hard is that right?

Well after two weeks, and a trip to the doctor...I realized...just moving through your day in normal activity takes a lot out of you. When you first start eating, you're lucky if you're getting 300-400 calories a day. So your body which may be used to running on a few thousand calories does an about face...like what the f$ck are you trying to do to me!!! So my doc gave me a third week to face reality. I decided in my third week, I was going to "train" for going back to work.

Training included...sitting in a chair at the computer in the dining room for a couple hours at a time. I gradually through the week tried to increase it. This was a noble effort. The first thing I noticed trying to sit for awhile was...twinges in my stomach muscles. You forget those surgeons cut your stomach muscles in six places...and you also forget that stomach muscles are half of the equation of keeping us upright. So as I tried to sit upright for those hours a day...I found myself leaning over...doing anything I could...not to sit up straight.

So finally the day was upon me. This past Monday...I had to face going back to work. Not only was the idea of going back and making it through the day physically a challenge, but also mentally I was wondering things like...will anyone even notice I've lost weight? Will anyone be gauche enough to ask me how much I've lost?

I got up at 5:30am...walked on the tread 20 minutes, did some pushups and some crunches...I think I was trying to be superwoman...but frankly this is the routine I'm hoping to develop in the long run. I got to work...and everyone was warm and welcomed me back...I think they were more happy just to see I was alive and actually came back to do my work. Nobody really was gauche and asked me point blank about my weight....except our marketing guy. He is known as a bit of a character...he comes up and says..."so what's the number?" Before I could stop myself I go "34 lbs!"...blurting it out like a happy kindergardner called on for the first time. Then he goes..."Stand up, let me look at you!". So like some robot I stand up...and he was very kind and said "Oh my God I can tell!". On one hand...I felt vaguely harassed by this, because it happened in front of all my guy co-workers...and i felt a bit objectified...but on the other hand...it was exactly what I needed...someone to frickin notice.

It's hard when you have 140lbs to lose...people really aren't going to notice until you've easily lost half of it or more...especially on me. I'm so tall, I pack it in all kinds of crazy places...like my feet are smaller..they aren't going to notice that really...or that when I sit down there's not much padding on my ass bones anymore...hurts to sit for a long time. But all in all...this getting back to work stuff has been good for me.

Now, coping with food at work is a whole other story. My strategy has been...protein bullet for breakfast, protein drink for lunch, and protein snack crackers for snack in morning or afternoon, then eat normal dinner. This way...no weirdness with food at work...no danger of puking...no danger of dumping...you name it. It's all well and good, but be prepared for the onslaught of smells and temptations. I sit with a bunch of skinny guys...all I ever hear them do is eat...crunch, crunch, crunch, "where we goin to lunch", crunch, crunch..."do you want a peep?"...oh yeah right "you can't eat." And then of course there are the jokes like..."what's for lunch today Mary...oh yeah...liquid lunch...again". I'm just kidding, but I will say I drastically miss the social aspect of lunches out with my friends. I have to find some safe food alternatives and try...otherwise I'm going to be depressed every lunch hour. We shall see.

I did discover that hummus is very good with Kay's Natural protein snacks...I get the parmesean and the nacho chili flavor ones. I get roasted red pepper hummus...and feel that I'm getting to eat just a little real food.

Well...the week is almost over, and I have to say with each day it get's easier to do everyday things. It's a good thing too, because next week, my husband goes to sea for two weeks, so I'm losing my cook, my housekeeper, and my babysitter all at once. I have a feeling next week is when the real trials begin. We shall see.

Foods tried this week:
Black Bean soup (from BariatricEating.com book) - awesome success...added shredded chicken and had no problems
Cajun Shrimp (from Bariatric Eating.com book)- yummy, but couldn't eat too much
Chicken Parmesean-like i do with most foods i love..ate too fast in beginning and it all came back up. Watch out for this.
Sugar Free Ice Cream- not good. Think the milk fat was too high..definitely felt nauseous after

That's it for the week. I also decided to hold off on the exercise regime til next week. The pounds lost is officially at 36 lbs. My goal is to get to 43 before my doctor's visit on the 25th...we shall see. I'm glad to be back at work...feeling productive, feeling somewhat needed...for the moment at least...hehe...and feeling like...normal.